And now for something completely different...

I've decided to take my giant stories to another format.  The project became a little bigger than this blog since the last time I posted.  That, and the time on the road is whittling away like a burnt smores stick.  So, I shall return to that tomfoolery once I get back.  

I suppose it's getting to the point where I need to develop some sort of conclusion to this experiment.  What have I learned, how am I different, where have I been and where am I going.  Somehow, that all seems doubtful, but I'll see what I can muster up.  In the meantime, here's a little ditty that I wanted to get down on 'paper' before it was swept away.

To set the stage, we were in Glacier National Park, which is in the northwest of Montana and is adjoined to Waterton Lakes National Park in Canada.  Together they make the Glacier-Waterton International Peace Park, but that's neither here nor there.  On our second day there, we got a flat in Many Glaciers on the Montana side.  The closest place to repair the tire was in Canada, so off we went through customs.  The border was relatively uneventful that day.  It helped that Simone was driving and thus answering the officer's questions.  However, put a grizzly bearded, long haired hippy in the driver's seat and you get the following day's border crossing.  This time we went to the border that adjoins the two parks.  It went something like this.  

OFFICER GREG

(sternly)  Good morning.

HIPPY

(cheerfully)  Good morning, sir!

HIPPY'S GIRL

(same)  Good morning!

HIPPY'S DOG

(same)  Snarfle!

OFFICER GREG

Passports.

HIPPY

You bet.

(hands them to him)

OFFICER GREG

(still sternly)  So,where are you folks headed today?

HIPPY    

Just over to the park for the day.

OFFICER GREG

And how long are you planning on staying there?

HIPPY

Um...just for the day.

HIPPY'S GIRL

Six hours or so!

OFFICER GREG

And is it just the two of you?

HIPPY

Yep.  Just us and the dog!

HIPPY'S DOG

Snarfle!

OFFICER GREG

And does your dog have papers?

HIPPY'S DOG

Snarfle?

HIPPY

Papers?

HIPPY'S GIRL

Oh, you mean her proof of vaccinations from the vet?  

OFFICER GREG

Uh huh.

HIPPY'S GIRL

Oh, yes we do!

HIPPY

Oh, yes!  We've got those in the...

HIPPY'S GIRL

In the...oh...the bag that's in our tent.

OFFICER GREG

In your tent?

HIPPY 

Yeah.

HIPPY'S GIRL

But she's wearing her tags!  (getting the tags off the dog) Will that be enough? 

OFFICER GREG

(taking the tags and looking them over)  Well, okay.  Don't know about getting back in though.

HIPPY

Will that be a problem?

OFFICER GREG

Do you have someone that could drive them up here with the papers if it comes to that?

HIPPY

Will it come to that?

OFFICER GREG

Could be.  Do you?

HIPPY AND HIPPY'G GIRL

(glumly and slightly confused) No.

HIPPY'S DOG

(glumly and slightly confused)  Snarfle?

OFFICER GREG

Well, good luck.

(hands the tags back)

So, where are you two staying?

HIPPY

Just down in Glacier at Rising Sun.

OFFICER GREG

And what is the purpose of your visit?

HIPPY

We, uh, just want to see the park.

HIPPY'S GIRL

We've been traveling.

HIPPY

Yeah, we've been on the road for a few months.

OFFICER GREG

Where are you from?

HIPPY AND HIPPY'S GIRL

Chicago.

OFFICER GREG

And when are you going back?

HIPPY 

Around Labor Day.

OFFICER GREG

And why are you going back then?

HIPPY

(starting to get flustered)  Well, our theatre company has a show opening and we need to get back for that.

OFFICER GREG

So that's what you do for a living?

HIPPY

Heh heh, yeah.  Among other things.

OFFICER GREG

Uh huh.  And is this your car?

HIPPY

Yep.  Our car.

OFFICER GREG

And do you have any fruit in the vehicle.?

HIPPY

Nope.

OFFICER GREG

Any alcohol?

HIPPY

Nope.

OFFICER GREG

Over 10,000 dollars?

HIPPY

I wish!

OFFICER GREG

Any firewood?

HIPPY

Nope.

OFFICER GREG

You came from a campground without any firewood?

HIPPY

Uh, yeah.  We left it back there for tonite.  Cause we're going back.  Tonite.

OFFICER GREG

And any firearms?

HIPPY

(laughing)  No, sir.

OFFICER GREG

You came all the way from Chicago without any firearms?

HIPPY

Uh.  Yeah.

OFFICER GREG

Alright, I'm going to need you to pop your trunk.

HIPPY

Uh, okay, but it doesn't pop.  You can just open it though.  If you want.

OFFICER GREG

Okay, I will.

(does so and looks around suspiciously)

HIPPY'S DOG

Snarrrfle.

OFFICER GREG

(closes the trunk)

Okay, you're all set.  Have a good day and welcome to Canada.


fine.


- snook.