I've decided to take my giant stories to another format. The project became a little bigger than this blog since the last time I posted. That, and the time on the road is whittling away like a burnt smores stick. So, I shall return to that tomfoolery once I get back.
I suppose it's getting to the point where I need to develop some sort of conclusion to this experiment. What have I learned, how am I different, where have I been and where am I going. Somehow, that all seems doubtful, but I'll see what I can muster up. In the meantime, here's a little ditty that I wanted to get down on 'paper' before it was swept away.
To set the stage, we were in Glacier National Park, which is in the northwest of Montana and is adjoined to Waterton Lakes National Park in Canada. Together they make the Glacier-Waterton International Peace Park, but that's neither here nor there. On our second day there, we got a flat in Many Glaciers on the Montana side. The closest place to repair the tire was in Canada, so off we went through customs. The border was relatively uneventful that day. It helped that Simone was driving and thus answering the officer's questions. However, put a grizzly bearded, long haired hippy in the driver's seat and you get the following day's border crossing. This time we went to the border that adjoins the two parks. It went something like this.
OFFICER GREG
(sternly) Good morning.
HIPPY
(cheerfully) Good morning, sir!
HIPPY'S GIRL
(same) Good morning!
HIPPY'S DOG
(same) Snarfle!
OFFICER GREG
Passports.
HIPPY
You bet.
(hands them to him)
OFFICER GREG
(still sternly) So,where are you folks headed today?
HIPPY
Just over to the park for the day.
OFFICER GREG
And how long are you planning on staying there?
HIPPY
Um...just for the day.
HIPPY'S GIRL
Six hours or so!
OFFICER GREG
And is it just the two of you?
HIPPY
Yep. Just us and the dog!
HIPPY'S DOG
Snarfle!
OFFICER GREG
And does your dog have papers?
HIPPY'S DOG
Snarfle?
HIPPY
Papers?
HIPPY'S GIRL
Oh, you mean her proof of vaccinations from the vet?
OFFICER GREG
Uh huh.
HIPPY'S GIRL
Oh, yes we do!
HIPPY
Oh, yes! We've got those in the...
HIPPY'S GIRL
In the...oh...the bag that's in our tent.
OFFICER GREG
In your tent?
HIPPY
Yeah.
HIPPY'S GIRL
But she's wearing her tags! (getting the tags off the dog) Will that be enough?
OFFICER GREG
(taking the tags and looking them over) Well, okay. Don't know about getting back in though.
HIPPY
Will that be a problem?
OFFICER GREG
Do you have someone that could drive them up here with the papers if it comes to that?
HIPPY
Will it come to that?
OFFICER GREG
Could be. Do you?
HIPPY AND HIPPY'G GIRL
(glumly and slightly confused) No.
HIPPY'S DOG
(glumly and slightly confused) Snarfle?
OFFICER GREG
Well, good luck.
(hands the tags back)
So, where are you two staying?
HIPPY
Just down in Glacier at Rising Sun.
OFFICER GREG
And what is the purpose of your visit?
HIPPY
We, uh, just want to see the park.
HIPPY'S GIRL
We've been traveling.
HIPPY
Yeah, we've been on the road for a few months.
OFFICER GREG
Where are you from?
HIPPY AND HIPPY'S GIRL
Chicago.
OFFICER GREG
And when are you going back?
HIPPY
Around Labor Day.
OFFICER GREG
And why are you going back then?
HIPPY
(starting to get flustered) Well, our theatre company has a show opening and we need to get back for that.
OFFICER GREG
So that's what you do for a living?
HIPPY
Heh heh, yeah. Among other things.
OFFICER GREG
Uh huh. And is this your car?
HIPPY
Yep. Our car.
OFFICER GREG
And do you have any fruit in the vehicle.?
HIPPY
Nope.
OFFICER GREG
Any alcohol?
HIPPY
Nope.
OFFICER GREG
Over 10,000 dollars?
HIPPY
I wish!
OFFICER GREG
Any firewood?
HIPPY
Nope.
OFFICER GREG
You came from a campground without any firewood?
HIPPY
Uh, yeah. We left it back there for tonite. Cause we're going back. Tonite.
OFFICER GREG
And any firearms?
HIPPY
(laughing) No, sir.
OFFICER GREG
You came all the way from Chicago without any firearms?
HIPPY
Uh. Yeah.
OFFICER GREG
Alright, I'm going to need you to pop your trunk.
HIPPY
Uh, okay, but it doesn't pop. You can just open it though. If you want.
OFFICER GREG
Okay, I will.
(does so and looks around suspiciously)
HIPPY'S DOG
Snarrrfle.
OFFICER GREG
(closes the trunk)
Okay, you're all set. Have a good day and welcome to Canada.
fine.
- snook.
Friday, August 27, 2010
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